~Hanniez

I'm feeling inspired again.

Downside, camera is officially broken. Damn.

hee.

I found 5 bucks in the back of my jeans and so being the impulsive person that I am, I bought a one month subscription to DA!

I'm so useless ^______^

Spiffy new features though

My camera is broken and I suddenly feel very odd. Like the feeling you get when you go to school without your backpack or when you leave home without a cellphone.

Ugh.

I really love coming to DA and seeing the amazing photography and insane skills of the artists here but I never feel like I have anything substantial to contribute to the community. I can appreciate good art but at most I'll only ever be amateur photographer. I doubt I'll ever advance beyond the novice stage because I'm too lazy and wishy-washy to invest in photography lessons and really learn the art of photography.

And this links back to my current anxiety over what to major in at USC. I *literally* can't afford to switch majors whenever I feel like it and the school I'm leaning toward right now (USC School of Cinema-Television) both captivates and scares me. I love film. Every aspect of it from the acting to the music to the cinematography. But I don't know what I can bring to the table, especially in the face of so many talented individuals who are struggling for a place in an industry that can be so cutthroat.

I've never had a clear talent for anything, whether it's photography, dancing, writing etc. Unlike so many of the artists here, who have such undeniable and apparent creativity and skill, I've always just been good enough to get by. I've been mediocre. That's a great word to describe my life. Funny how that doesn't really make me sad. It's not like I've had a meaningless existence with no claim to greatness. I've been good, sometimes great. It's just that I've never been outstanding. And I want outstanding. I want to find my nitch in life.

I gotta step it up. I have to.

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And honestly, why do they give such little room in the favorite movies and music sections?